When you go through challenging times, instinctively we try to hide it from children. We feel children do not know how to deal with the situation, and it will burden them. Rather, we do not know how to communicate the situation with our children and fear that it is perhaps not proper to do so. So, hiding is often our easy solution. On the contrary, children are quite adept in handling challenges. Not only is their resilience incomparably higher than adults, so also is their perception. They do perceive if something is amiss in the household. At times they may not be able to exactly comprehend the complexities of adult life, but they do have an idea of their own. It is quite commonly observed that children would know what the parents are facing, but since they have not been formally told, they do not know if they can bring up the topic on their own. Believe it or not, children worry too. They definitely care about the well-being of their parents, though at times parents underestimate the role of their children in times of challenges and adversity. ` Here are some simple things to remember when you are faced with a serious challenge:
1. Come up clearly about the matter`: Instead of having your children worry about you, it is better to tell them in brief whatever serious matter you are faced with. It simply takes off a great deal of burden from you and enables you to cope much better. Also, it is very important to let your children be in touch with the realities of life. You need not feel guilty or worried about telling them what is true.
2. Take support from the Family`: Our family gives us unconditional support and in times of need we must allow ourselves the comfort and reassurance of knowing that they are there for us. Let children be close to you and shower their innocent love and care. Parents often shoo the children away when something unpleasant occurs. It usually does not help the crisis. Rather children feel helpless and left out. That is certainly a greater emotional damage which can be avoided.
3. `Allow children to participate`: If there is some important decision to be made, it is not just wise but certainly advisable to ask children for their view point as well. Logically speaking, a decision which affects the lives of the entire family must be arrived at by listening to the views of everyone.
4. Acknowledge the role children play in your life : Children surprise us with their antics, and also with their wisdom. Their unbiased mind can perceive things which we have long lost in the process of growing up and dealing with the bearings of daily living. Their perspective can at times completely loosen a tight knot. History has witnessed numerous such events when a child has been able to advise the father about what to do and what is right. You may never know how much of learning such moments can bring to your child. Remember always to acknowledge your child`s support and suggestion. At times they may not be the solution, but the encouragement from you makes them feel useful and apply themselves even more in future.
5. Recognize such moments as opportunities to come closer :`When you sail through rough waters together, it strengthens the bond as a family. You can recall such moments in your life, when you have conquered the challenging times with the support and care of your children and family, you emerge stronger and more emotionally secure. It cements the relationship we share with the spouse and children. In times of joy we like to be together, and in times of adversity, we need to be close and connected. As each one us is dealing with some challenge or another, we wish you to emerge from it successfully, powerfully and as an even better human being ` with the support of your family.